The Price of Liberty is Eternal Vigilance

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Shrimp 'n Grits

The writings of Lee Walton will return in mid-January. Until then, CharlestonWatch has selected what we consider the Best of Shrimp n Grits published in 2007. Only a Lowcountry native intimately familiar with the ageless intrigue and inner workings of Charleston City politics could author such a poem.

De Swimp Anthology
De Swimps Net

De Charleston Swimp e need de tools,
So e make e Council ta be de fools.
E pick um each fo de pawns dey be,
N hopes mos folks dont care ta see.

E arms dey flail n all many directions,
As e spit out adjectives n inflections.
E tink e cute upon de stage,
But folks be watchin tink e da rage.

Fo each big vote e need control,
N could care less if dey be told.
Contary members e cant abide,
N use e machine ta toss um aside.

E pick e council ta be beholden,
If dey aint such, e cuss n scold um.
E pitch da fit when no one lookin,
But smile n grin when e pitcher tookin.

But City Council, dey aint enough,
So e poke e nose in bigger stuff.
E place e cronies ta help de most,
By stick um in da higher post.

De County Council aint immune,
Ta e hand picked sops dat hum e tune.
De Machines Colleen be de perfect zample,
Fo ta help de Swimp on County Council.

Now de Swimp e need de Greenspace Fellow,
So he call Dana Beach cause e be jello.
When e needin da crony to watch e back,
Dana be dere as e special hack.

Now Long Savannah be de next big deal,
Fo de Swimp n Dana ta conceal.
But de Urban Line be in de way,
So de Swimp git Dana ta have e say.

Dat Chairman Scott, e aint no fool,
N mos of all no Swimp Mon tool.
Dis not be good fo de deal dey wheelin,
So de Swimp Mon try some higher dealin.

Cause Long Savannah, e need de mos,
E hunt fo Scott a nodder post.
E try de Govnor ta help um out,
But both find out dey lack de clout.

E pointy fingers, dey probe n wiggle,
In elected spots dat e can giggle.
E ben doin dis fo many de years,
N mos folks know, but be stopped by fears.

Cause long years ago in lawyer college,
De Swimp n friends sort special knowledge.
Dey form da band ta rule dis State,
N plan its future ta overtake.

But dere master plan ta rule de State,
Fall flat cause Swimp, e aint so great.
Dere was a nudder by de name o Nick,
Dat cut n dice um ta de quick.

Dem upstate folk dont mess a round,
N didnt like de Swimp Mons sound.
Dis proof ta folks dat dey can beat um,
Jes need de right one ta unseat um.

Still de Swimp Mon got da ace in de hole,
N it be none udder dan Chief Justice Toal.
She be e law school long time buddy,
N mold de laws fo um like putty.

De Swimp n Toal bof make de sound,
Ta stop Jim Island fo be de Town.
Fo twice befo dey pop Mayor Clark,
N try ta keep er in de dark.

Both hope it be over n de Town be dead,
But Mayor Mary Clark still wearin red.
De Swimp file law suit n squeek de larm,
But Mayor Clark know third time de charm.

Tis time dere be a nudder boss,
Ta ride in on da big white hoss.
Til dat day cum, tings be de same,
N Swimp Mon play e same ol game.

Lee Walton

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